Direct from the Gizmoplex

The fanbase is rabid, the legacy long lasting, so it’s hard to deny the cultural impact of Mystery Science Theater 3000First aired on the independent TV network KTMA, Mystery Science Theater 3000 grew in popularity when it moved to Comedy Central. Spoofing bad movies, the gang on the show watch the flicks and make jokes about them, entertaining its audience with the same kind of shtick many movies watchers provided on their own (just usually not as funny as the MST3K guys could provide). It became an indelible part of the entertainment landscape from there, and lives on today on Netflix.. This is a series that started life as a cable access show in Minnesota all the way back in 1988 before finding life, again and again, on various cable and streaming networks, with the fans always coming to support the next iteration of the series. After it’s last two seasons aired on NetflixOriginally started as a disc-by-mail service, Netflix has grown to be one of the largest media companies in the world (and one of the most valued internet companies as well). With a constant slate of new internet streaming-based programming that updates all the time, Netflix has redefined what it means to watch TV and films (as well as how to do it)., creator Joel Hodgson had to find yet another way to get a season for the show (because that streamer decided they were done with the series), and so he turned to the fans, getting them to help fund another season of the show before launching it in a new way: the Gizmoplex.

Instead of relying on other streamers, MST3K teamed up with Shout Factory (who had been a reliable publisher of their home video collections for years and years) to become their own streaming service. The Gizmoplex promised classic episodes, bonus content, marathons and, more importantly, an entirely new season of the series: lucky number 13. Returning cast and crew came along for the new season, and the whole production worked to have continuity with the previous Netflix seasons. This was the new age for MST3K when the series wasn’t reliant on anyone else for its own existence.

And… well, the final results are mixed. We’ll be going episode by episode through the season, as we have with all our previous MST3K reviews, letting each movie stand on its own so we can enjoy its full glory. However, just booting up this first episode, it’s hard to deny that there’s something off with this current season. The sets feel wrong, mostly just cardboard papercraft and a lot of green screen. All the fun practical effects from previous seasons are missing, with only the puppets and Jonah Heston (the most believable practical effect) continuing on with the show. Understandably, since Netflix wouldn’t let the series reuse any of the materials from the previous two seasons, some compromises had to be made but… this feels very compromised indeed. The show feels cheap, even by its own standards. It just feels very wrong.

The same can also be said for the comedy in this first episode. While covering Santo in the Treasure of Dracula, it feels like the guys – Jonah Heston (Jonah Ray), Crow T. Robot (Hampton Yount), Tom Servo (Baron Vaughn), and the newly renamed GPC (Rebecca Hanson) – are missing that charismatic spark they used to have. The pacing of the jokes is slower, many of the gags don’t land, and everything feels disconnected. Apparently some of these episodes were filmed during COVID times, so that might explain why some of this is just… off. Still, the vibe of the show is lacking here.

This of course doesn’t even get into the issues fans reported with the Gizmoplex app itself. Yes, it’s yet another streaming service you have to pay for, with you having to pay for either single episodes or seasonal passes just to watch content. Reportedly also there are a ton of ads crammed into the app, even when you’re paying for it (early seasons of the show are free but also clogged with ads), making the price proposition seems decidedly less interesting. Fans have voiced their concerns online, of course, but it’s hard to get people to use an app if they don’t like the cost of doing business.

For my part I didn’t even watch these Season 13 episodes on the Gizmoplex. Shout! has a streaming deal with Amazon PrimeWhile Netflix might be the largest streaming seervice right now, other major contenders have come into the game. One of the biggest, and best funded, is Amazon Prime, the streaming-service add-on packing with free delivery and all kinds of other perks Amazon gives its members. And, with the backing of its corporate parent, this streaming service very well could become the market leader. and I found that these episodes were available to me via that app instead. I assume (and hope) that the MST3K guys get paid residuals for my watching this via a streaming app I already own but, man, we’re at a point where I don’t want to pay for yet another streaming service just to watch one more show I like. We’re well past peak streaming, guys. It’s time to rein things back in a bit.

Overall, this doesn’t quite feel like the MST3K I knew and loved. It’s hard to see the value proposition of the Gizmoplex, especially with the quality of the episodes, the reported ad issues, and the fact you can find all the content at this point elsewhere. I hope these issues get worked out and if there is a Season 14 (which I’m sure there will be one day) it has improved quality and better chemistry among the hosts.

With that out of the way, though, let’s talk about this episode’s movie: Santo in the Treasure of Dracula.

The Main Event

I am a big fan of DraculaHe's the great undead fiend, the Prince of Darkness, the monster based on a real historical figure. He... is Dracula!. If you browse around on this site, and also over on its sister site Castlevania: The Inverted Dungeon, you’ll find I have an unhealthy obsession with that classic movie monster and his ilk. Vampires and werewolves and beasties that go bump in the night (as they bang their shin against the night stand, letting out a blood-curdling wail in the process) are absolutely my jam, so getting the premiere episode of this thirteenth season with a movie all about Dracula helped lift my spirits. If nothing else, we were gonna get Dracula.

And, credit where it’s due, this isn’t a bad Dracula movie. At least, not for the parts that actually focus on the titular vampire. Santo in the Treasure of Dracula is very weird because it’s, in essence, two different movies awkwardly grafted together to make a single, kind of cohesive film. The first act is all about El Santo, the Mexican wrestler (Luchador), who starred in a surprising number of movies across the 1960s and 1970s (depending on what you count as separate films, 55 or more movies could be considered part of his filmography). He invents a time machine (you know, as you do when you’re a Luchador) and shows it off to his scientific friends, many of whom don’t believe it possible. But Santo uses the machine on a friend, Luisa (Noelia Noel), sending her back in time to her past life, where… well, Dracula is real.

From here we get a solid middle act reproducing the beats of a Dracula film. Luisa, as her past life, has been plagued by weakness and anemia, ever since two curious marks appeared on her neck. Her father sends for a famed medical expert, and when he sees her he immediately suspects it’s the work of a vampire. And, wouldn’t you know it, a certain Count Alucard (Aldo Monti) arrives to check on Luisa, and soon everyone begins to suspect that he’s Dracula. They chase the vampire off, track him to his grave, and kill him, and then Santo pulls Luisa out of the past life before she, too, is killed. But there’s been a dark man following Team Santo, and if he gets his hands on the treasure of Dracula, the power they could control could… do something bad. Honestly, the film is pretty vague on this count.

If you’ve watched classic horror cinema then you know that you have to rate these films on a different, and far more forgiving, scale that your average film. These kinds of films were low budget, provided cheap thrills and silly fun on a low budget. The Dracula portions of Santo in the Treasure of Dracula are pretty good when compared to other vampire films. They have about thirty minutes, give or take, to tell a complete slice of a Dracula tale, and they do it pretty well. Get in, get out, get the vampire where he needs to be. I can respect that kind of efficient storytelling.

Where the film falls down is in the Santo portions. No offense to the wrestler and his legion of fans but, quite frankly. Santo is a bad actor (at least, in fairness, in this English dub). Even just going off his body language and physical performance, he’s not a very dynamic or interesting performer. He struggles to sell this story (not that the story is worth telling anyway), and the hour or so of content involving him and his people in the present day are some of the most tedious moments of the whole film. He’s the lead character, the selling point of this film, and I really think the movie would be better off without him.

Jonah and the bots do what they can, of course, but as I noted before they lacked the chemistry needed to really sell this film. There are a few solid chuckles to be had, but most of the jokes during the length of this film feel pretty dry, lacking the punch and hilarity of the best of MST3K. I feel like, for this episode, they absolutely were shaking off the rust and finding themselves. The best bits actually come in between the movie, during the sketches, which is weird to say considering I usually don’t like these moments as much. I especially enjoyed a sequence where the bots play Luchadors during a hype up press conference, and instead of being nasty to each other they are as nice as can be. It’s really funny.

But yes, overall this was a weak entry for the series. The best of this movie comes in the middle, when Dracula is the dominant force, and that’s also when Jonah and the Bots have the most to do or say. Being able to perk up a decent bit of film with jokes is easier, but the magic of MST3K is that the show makes the unwatchable fun to watch. In this case, the series just wasn’t able to manage that feat.