John and Audra's Randomness - Dracula's Problem

So What's Dracula's Problem, Anyway?

A look at the circumstances in which the blood-sucking count appears over the years. Like the timeline, only funnier and with more pretty pictures. And less calories! Note: This timeline follows the original timeline. In about 2000, information came out saying that the Japanese translations may have been wrong for Christopher Belmont and Simon Belmont's adventures, placing them 100 years early/later and flip-flopping the two. Well I'm stickin' to my original story for now! It used to be all guesses, for cryin' out loud!

1475--Castlevania Legends: Sonia Belmont, Alucard's lover and mother of Trevor (supposedly) becomes the first (known) Belmont to tangle with Drac. Unfortunately, he comes back in a short period of years.

"Turn your head and cough... wait, you're a chick!"

1492--Castlevania 3: Dracula's Curse: Drac's back. Trevor's here. And he's got help. Trevor, Alucard, Grant Danasty and Sypha Belnades put the Count down for the count. Well, another hundred years anyway. This time Drac has a vendetta against the Belmonts but of course would love to take over the world. (Wonder who he hates more, Belmonts or his son?)

"Back say I as I wave my scepter in a threatening manner. ..and...and....I'm gonna get my ass kicked, ain't I?"

1592--Castlevania, Haunted Castle, Vampire Killer, Super Castlevania 4, Akumajo Dracula X68000

In Castlevania , Vampire Killer, SCV IV and Akumajo Dracula X68000 no further explanation beyond the Count trying to take over Europe ( as usual ) is given. In Haunted Castle, however, Drac kidnaps Simon Belmont's bride. Still hatin' them Belmonts.

Drac proves hair doesn't make the man in: Super Castlevania 4

But of course, Simon, the most legendary and well-known Belmont embarasses Drac and sends him back whence he came, but Drac had something else planned...

1593--Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest: Shortly after defeating Dracula, Simon discovers that Dracula has cursed him, a painful curse upon Simon's chest. Simon has to resurrect Dracula with his collected body parts, but Drac doesn't put up much of a fight in this one. Cya in a hundred more, Vlad.

Simon: You again? What's with the shoulders?"

1692--The Castlevania Adventure: You know the drill. 100 more and Drac's up and at 'em again. This time he runs into Chris Belmont. And he actually turns tail and runs, though only for a 15 years...

1707--Castlevania 2: Belmont's Revenge: Drac comes back and kidnaps Chris's son Soleiyu. Chris gives Drac a whip lobotomy and becomes the second Belmont to meet the count twice, on two separate occasions, and Soleiyu is freed. Say, why haven't we seen a circa 1710's, 20's game of Soleiyu yet? And he must be Richter's great grandfather, y'know. But I guess Drac stayed in that grave throughout the middle 1700's. At least that's all we know now.

Drac: "That's some hot chili!" Richter: "Hey, that hairspray and lighter trick really works!"

1792--Dracula X: Rondo of Blood, Dracula X: Richter time. Enter the blue-boy. Exit the Drac pack. Well, they enter first, then get their undead cans handed to 'em. Drac and his dark priest pal Shaft come into Transylvania for Drac's hundred year rising hell-bent on destruction. That Shaft, he's one bad mother-SHUT YO' MOUTH!. I'm just talking about Shaft. That's right. Annnyhow, Richter really makes Drac look bad and puts him away, but not for as long as he had hoped.

1796--Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night (Dracula X: Nocture In the Moonlight). Not exactly a Drac appearance, but give him about a year, we're just talking about text at the beginning of SOTN. Our least favorite priest SHAFT! hell yeah kidnaps Richter. He's asking for it, but it's all so he can bring back Drac. That Drac he's one bad mothe- ah, forget it.

1797--Drac appears sitting in a big demonic chair, (Richter has been freed by SHAFT! that's right by Alucard, our hero in this one) and his son Alucard sends him back whence he came ( he even says that ), for another hundred.

1830--Not sure why this one is so short a time before the 64 titles, I guess Nathan Graves didn't kill Dracula quite dead enough! But why is it so closely follwing SOTN? And why does Dracula say that Morris Baldwin is "one of those who sealed him"? Where was he? Is he Richter with a different name? Or is there ANOTHER Dracula encounter between Alucard, Richter and Maria's stomp on Drac in Symphony? Anywaaaaay.....Carmilla from Castlevania 2 is the one responsible for Drac coming back this time.

1844--What's Dracula got against Cornell the werewolf I ask you? Ah well, this is one of the 3-d titles, we won't question....

1847--Possibly the most inconsistent of storylines. ( This should be 1897 ) This one for some reason has MOTORCYCLES, so it looks more like the 1900's, but it's not. 3 years after wolfy defeats Drac, Reinhardt Schneider and Carrie Fernandez ( a relative of Sypha Belnades ) have to do the deed all over again.

1897--Not seen in a CV game, but mentioned in Bloodlines, Quincy Morris drives a stake ( or a bowie knife, different stories. Or a Ziggy Stardust knife, if the blade is wrapped in a glittery dress. ) into Drac's heart, but dies himself moments later. Rent Bram Stokers Dracula the movie for a better look at this one, starring one of Audra's fave actors Gary Oldman. Of course, make sure you can handle the sight of Keanu Reeves' bloody nipple if you're gonna view. Ughhh. Think happy thoughts.

John: Okay, go an' get him. Eric: No, I wouldn't DREAM of stealing your thunder! I insist you take him. Drac: I'm purple and I'm pissed! Who's up for a beatin'?

1917--Castlevania Bloodlines: A very purple Dracula returns after his resurrected niece resurrects him in a resurrected Bram Stokers Dracula storyline. John Morris and Eric LeCarde are Drac's designated enemies and ultimately kickers-of-ass to him. Well, at least he didn't encounter a full-fledged Belmont or his son "I hate you daddy" Alucard. But Morris and LeCarde are damn cool!