Off to the Bloody Castle

I see people online complaining about the current state of movies, how modern Hollywood blockbusters feel soulless and empty, like they’re chasing trends without understanding what made the films that started those trends work. The thing to remember is that this is always how the business has been. Someone makes money, other studios see this success and want to get in on the business themselves, and then the market gets flooded with more and more films of the same type, many of them bad, and then audiences reject what had previously been successful because everything they’re seeing is awful or a retread.

Hell, this isn’t even limited to Hollywood. Although we can certainly point to the current superhero genre, with the success of the Marvel Cinematic UniverseWhen it first began in 2008 with a little film called Iron Man no one suspected the empire that would follow. Superhero movies in the past, especially those not featuring either Batman or Superman, were usually terrible. And yet, Iron Man would lead to a long series of successful films, launching the most successful cinema brand in history: the Marvel Cinematic Universe. leading to an absolute glut of terrible superhero films and every studio needing their own cinematic universe (see also: The Mummy, Bloodshot, and, well, the DC Extended UniverseStarted as DC Comics' answer to the MCU, the early films in the franchise stumbled out of the gates, often mired in grim-dark storytelling and the rushed need to get this franchise started. Eventually, though, the films began to even out, becoming better as they went along. Still, this franchise has a long way to go before it's true completion for Marvel's universe.), this is a trend that happens again and again. The YA boom of the 2010s. Atari’s success in the video game market leading to the first video game crash of 1983. Where success comes, plenty of leeches and hangers-on will follow.

So when we track far enough back, to the success Hammer Films had with their one-two punch of The Curse of Frankenstein in 1958 and then Dracula in 1959 it was only natural that other studios would want to get into it. Hammer did their own damage, milking both brands (and many other attempts at failed franchises) for all they were worth, putting out an absolutely massive amount of Gothic horror films over the course of the 1960s and 1970s, but no one was above attempting their hand at it, in every country and from every studio.

And that’s how we get The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism, a film that could be mistaken for a Hammer production, considering its production values, the fact it was based on an existing horror work (Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum”), and that it stars Christopher Lee (famously Hammer’s Dracula for seven of its nine DraculaHe's the great undead fiend, the Prince of Darkness, the monster based on a real historical figure. He... is Dracula! films). Even the fact that it’s terrible doesn’t instantly discredit it as a Hammer film as that studio produced many other bad Gothic horror movies during their run. No, the greatest clue that it’s not an official Hammer work is the fact that so many of the actors are overdubbed in English. Hammer films were made in England, with British actors and production staff, and even when their films were set in Germany (as so many Dracula films were) everyone still clearly spoke English. This was a German production, produced by Constantin Film (who are, notably, still around), to cash in on the 1967 market of the time.

The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism (which is such a fantastic title, even if it’s also known as Die Schlangengrube und das Pendel, The Blood Demon, The Snake Pit and the Pendulum, Blood of the Virgins, and Castle of the Walking Dead) focuses on two main characters: Roger von Marienberg (Lex Barker) and Baroness Lilian von Brabant (Karin Dor). Roger is a solicitor who never knew his family, growing up only with a small amount of gold given to him by his mysterious parents before they dropped him at an orphanage, as well as a pendant to make where he was from. Meanwhile, Lilian is the daughter of the previous Baroness, a title that has little of value to it since the fortunes of the nobility were all squandered centuries before. She works as a music teacher and makes a modest living.

The two each find themselves summoned to the castle of Count Regula, known locally in Sander Valley, Germany, as the “blood castle”. The villagers of the region do not speak its name, and they try all they can to convince the two not to go to the castle. Each travels off, though, assuming there are answers about their pasts to be found at the castle. But waiting for them is not fortune, or nobility, or even long lost parentage. The blood castle brings only misery, and any who step through its doors could meet a fate worse than death.

Call the film any name you want, it’s still unbelievably stupid. There’s a ton of logic leaps and other weird plot details that get thrown out and left barely explored before the movie has to move on to its next big set piece. Regula was captured and executed many years earlier for kidnapping and killing twelve girls. It would have been thirteen, but Lilian’s mother escaped, went to the authorities, and Regula was captured and executed. All fine and good on its own, but the rest of the plot plays out as an overwrought revenge story, but one where the villain’s plans only work if everyone just so happens to accept his invitation, comes to his castle, and lets themselves get killed in stupid and overly elaborate ways. Oh, and there’s a concoction that turns killers into the undead. That on top of everything else.

To be clear, there’s probably a core idea in this film that could lead to some actual horror. We get the two leads, plus two side characters – Lilian’s handmaiden, Babette, played by Christiane Rücker, and the (supposed) monk Peter Fabian, played by Vladimir Medar – and between the four we should be able to get in some good torture scenes (since, you know, that’s what’s promised by at least one version of the title) and excellent deaths. But, in fact, there is none of that. One death in the film happens early in the movie, and it’s barely commented on, and then the rest of the movie is all buildup without any real execution.

Hell, even the big set piece that the film builds to, the pit with the pendulum that slowly lowers down, ready to slice a man in half, isn’t really that scary. The villains set Roger in it, and then walk away, leaving him to die without checking on him. It’s like if Blofeld from James Bond were played by Christopher Lee in a Hammer production. The pit sequence goes on too long, takes forever to get close to being scary, and then ends with an easy out for the hero that ruins what might have actually been a pretty interesting death. It’s totally not in the spirit of Edgar Allen Poe’s original work.

And normally I’d at least be able to credit Christopher Lee with holding up his end of the bargain. He was a fantastic actor who could add presence and gravitas to any film he was in. Here, though, he seems utterly bored by the work. He’s barely in the film, only appearing briefly in the opening shots, and then staying out until nearly the end, and he seems so uninvested and disinterested in the role that you have to assume he took it just to get a paycheck. This is the exact kind of paycheck movie that uses a star to sell itself as something more than it is.

I want to like The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism, as much because the name is excellent as for any other reason. I do very much enjoy Gothic horror of this time period and I would have loved it if this film were any good. It’s not, though. It’s a plodding film with a bad story that takes forever to get to the good bits, and when those occur, they’re generally lackluster and add nothing to the film. This could have been an excellent film if it had more scares, more gore, and more fun. Instead it’s just a tired knockoff of the works of a much better, and more interesting, studio’s output. Sad to say, Dr. Sadism didn’t bring it this time.