Somewhere, Beyond the Sea

Perhaps the hope that the season was getting back on track (which I expressed in my review of Season 13, Episode 2: “Robot Wars”) was premature. This third episode, covering a 1973 dud of a movie, brings us right back down to Earth with a tragically slow mockering of, well, a mockery (as that’s what the Mystery Science Theater 3000First aired on the independent TV network KTMA, Mystery Science Theater 3000 grew in popularity when it moved to Comedy Central. Spoofing bad movies, the gang on the show watch the flicks and make jokes about them, entertaining its audience with the same kind of shtick many movies watchers provided on their own (just usually not as funny as the MST3K guys could provide). It became an indelible part of the entertainment landscape from there, and lives on today on Netflix. crew does; they mock). I think the heart is in the right place for this episode, but for a number of reasons (not the least of which is an incredibly dull movie) this episode just can’t come together at all.

This is the first of the MST3K episodes to feature host Emily Marsh as Emily Connor. Emily has appeared in the live, touring shows of MST3K since 2019, but this episode is her first official appearance as a host on the main series. And, well… it’s not a great showcase for her. I don’t think she’s bad in the series, and it is nice to see a female host on the show for once (especially since it lets her tell jokes that the guys might not be able to tell because of the difference in perspective). She’s a puppeteer and a theater person, and she has her own kind of charisma that works. It just doesn’t work in this first episode.

I think part of the issue is that, at least in this first episode, her performance is too big and broad. Remember, she did the live shows, and when you’re doing that kind of performance you’re acting big for the audience. You gotta “perform for the cheap seats,” as they say, and it feels like she’s still in that mode on the TV screen. Her segments between the chunks of the movie feel big and broad and too much. She’s still pushing it out in her performance while I wish she’d bring it back about fifteen percent and act a little more like a normal person.

At the same time, I don’t feel like the episode treats her that well. The contrivance of this season is that because of damage done to the Gizmoplex theater, Kinga and Max setup “simulation” stages, just like the real Satellite of Love, and then they trap other hosts in those simulations. Emily is the first host they trap in a simulation, and she gets her own versions of the bots, Crow, Tom Servo, and GPC, to chat with and hackle movies. Again, it’s nice to have Emily on the set, but think about the contrivance of this:

In effect, the first female host of the show doesn’t get to be the “real” host (especially since Jonah is still also hosting, from the “official” Satellite of Love) but, instead, has to exist on a fake version with fake alternatives to the real bots. Sure, they all use the same puppets, but we know they aren’t the same characters. It’s just… really weird. Like, they couldn’t just find a way to have her be on the Satellite of Love properly. Maybe say each host gets frozen and a different host comes out for certain episodes? The effect would be the same without somehow diminishing her status on the show.

Sure, I’m reading too deeply into this. The point of the rotating casts was, I’m sure, to minimize the needs for each actor to be on set and spread the work around. Plus, with COVID quarantine, the production had to find ways to keep everyone distanced and spread out. Bringing Emily in to host wasn’t just a way to give a recurring actor from the theater shows a place in the proper continuity, it also meant that Jonah didn’t have to be on set for every episode. That’s a boon, and it works in that context, but I just still feel bad for Emily. More time on set, and more episodes, could help her TV performance a lot.

Realistically what would help most, though, is a slightly better movie with much better comedy to heckle on top of it. The best MST3K movies feature the right balance of badness. If the film is too good you end up wanting the characters to shut up so you can watch the movie. If the film is too bad, though, then it’s a complete drag on the whole production. We sat through Santo and the Treasure of Dracula at the start of this season and that was one of the lesser entries for the series. Some films are grand mockeries of the highest order (think “Space Mutiny”), but this episode fails to deliver on any front.

For starters, Beyond Atlantis is a real dud of a film. It features a crew of conmen and criminals heading out to a remote island populated by a strange breed of humans, all so they can steal the vast wealth of special pearls that seem to only grow around that island. Despite being shown as violent to outsiders, the islanders leave the crew alone, and there’s little tension and no plot beyond, “let’s hang around on the sand and sometimes go in the water.” Only near the end does conflict arise and, of note, this is when the film and the episode both finally pick up. Up til that point, it’s a chore to sit through this.

You can tell the writers for the show struggled because there just aren’t enough jokes for this episode. The movie is tedious, with long stretches of people just sitting around, or lounging on the beach, or swimming. Not unlike, with “Manos: The Hands of Fate”, it’s har\d to generate laughs when there’s absolutely nothing going on, and “Beyond Atlantis” has a whole lot of nothing. The writers for “Manos” at least had a good, charismatic crew who could carry even the simple jokes, but Emily’s crew is new, and still finding themselves, and they just don’t have the chops to get through this movie.

Perhaps, given a better film to mock, Emily would do better. She has the personality and charisma to carry the show. She’s been doing it for a whole now, five years with the traveling production team, and you have to think creator Joel Hodgson sees potential in the actress. You want to see her do well, and that means giving her not just the material to carry an episode but also the time to find herself in front of a camera with her crew of puppeteers and voice actors. “Beyond Atlantis” was not the film to give her for that purpose.

Realistically, I’m not sure “Beyond Atlantis” would be hard for any crew to liven up. It’s just such a dull, dreadful film full of a whole lot of nothing. These humans live on this island that no one can find, except it’s also an easy island to find because people keep coming here. The islanders are violent, except when they’re not; evil, except when they’re not; and they have strange customs… except those are never, ever explored. The film wastes so much time and potential without doing anything at all. It is just such a bad movie.

WHen we get another Emily episode, with hopefully a better film, then we can pass true judgment. This episode is bad, but I don’t think that’s Emily’s fault. We’ll just have to see what happens when the crew are able to give her something worthy of a proper MST3K mocking. Still, if you’re a casual fan and just like to watch the best this series has to offer, then skip “Beyond Atlantis” because it is far from a good episode of the show.