Con Men Make Good

If you've heard of Dreamworks Animation (and, in fairness, they have made a lot of movies), your first impulse is likely to think of them as the animation studio designed specifically to poke Disney (more specifically, Michael Eisner) in the eye. Co-founded by Jeffery Katzenberg (the "K" in parent studio Dreamworks SKG), the studio became super famous on the release of Shrek, the anti-fairy tale movie that also made a fair bit of fun at Disney Corp.'s expense. But of course, their first film was Antz, a 3D animated movie also designed to poke Disney in the eye by taking some of the luster off the company's own Pixar-developed 3D animated bug film. If you look at the history of the company, they did this a fair bit.

There are a number of titles that were put out by Dreamworks Animation clearly done in answer to Disney's own works. Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas within a few months of Treasure Planet. Shark Tale put out within a year of Finding Nemo. And then there's The Road to El Dorado, a film seemingly designed to take all the shine off Disney's own long in development The Kingdom of the... I mean, The Emperor's New Groove. A funny film with a Latin American setting, featuring songs by a popular pop song writer. Even Disney has noted that The Road to El Dorado didn't help Emperor's New Groove at the Box Office.

When you compare the two films together, they really aren't the same in any way, shape, or form. Aside from being "comedic animated films" with all the other descriptors I already mentioned, they are very different films. The Emperor's New Groove is a very funny, fact paced comedy designed around the vocal talents, and one liners, of lead voice actor David Spade. It feels like the kind of film that was heavily improvised in the booth as the comedians on set came up with funny deliveries and new one-liners. Meanwhile, The Road to El Dorado is a much more traditional animated film. It has its funny moments, but they're the heavily scripted kind, a classic bit of cartoon humor that draws heavily from Disney's own archival playbook. Frankly, Dreamworks' animated film feels like something that should have come out of Disney, and vice versa, and the comparison does no favors for Dreamworks' actual release.

The film opens with two con men, Tulio (Kevin Kline) and Miguel (Kenneth Branagh), operating in Spain in 1519. After a bit of gambling (with loaded dice) goes wrong, the two are forced to improvise their way out of the predicament, all to avoid getting arrested by the Spanish guards. They managed their way (by accident) onto a boat, and then quickly get captured (as stowaways) once they're off at sea. And so they have to find another way to escape, this time involving a horse, Altivo (Frank Welker), a life boat, and a bit of luck.

The boat drifts for a time at sea before the men (and horse) come to rest on the beach of an unknown island. That's when Miguel remembers a map (that they won in that opening gambling scene). Following the map's clues, which oddly align with the landmarks on the island they've found, Miguel realizes they might just be on the path to El Dorado, the City of Gold. Of course, once they get there they'll still have to figure out how to fool the natives -- maybe with the help of a con woman native girl, Chel (Rosie Perez), working on her own scheme -- and make their way our with the gold. It's a tall order, but these two enjoyable con men might just be up to the task.

When it was released, The Road to El Dorado was generally ignored by theatrical audiences. It bombed, making only $76.4 Mil against a $95 Mil budget, which was a paltry amount from the studio which had seen solid success two years prior with Prince of Egypt. Watching the movie, though, I can see why the film tanked: while amusing, it's not really all that great. It's a mildly inoffensive animated film with a few good jokes, but it doesn't have a whole ton going for it that would really make it a "must watch" for the viewing public.

The main issue is that the film is predicated on so many plot contrivances that actually investing in the story of the film is hard to do. The guys that our protagonists gamble with just so happen to have a map. They sneak onto a boat, then escape, and just so happen to land on the one island where that map is actually useful. The map actually works, which is surprising in and of itself, and the men are able to stumble onto the city at just the right time to see a native girl, Chel, escape out and reveal the hidden entrance to the city. They just so happen to arrive at the right time for the city's high priest, Tzekel-Kan (Armand Assante), to proclaim them as the foretold gods of legend. Oh, and they're all able to speak Spanish (really, English in the film) despite this being first contact between any Europeans and these Native Americans. It just... doesn't work.

The excuse "it's just for kids" is lazy storytelling. Even Disney realized they had to explain this kind of thing away when they made Pocahontas, so they had that protagonist learn the language from the "Colors of the Wind" (or something). It was still lazy, but there was an attempt. The Road to El Dorado doesn't make any attempt at explaining any of it. Maybe the people that made the made gave their language to the natives. It could be that somehow Cortez (captain of the Spanish expedition the guys sneak onto) was aiming for this location anyway (and not obviously blown off course) and so all of them were aimed for this area anyway. There are ways to explain it if you have to, but this is more effort than the film puts in. Shit just happens and no one questions is.

The other problem with the film is that its story is threadbare at best. Along with its simple narrative of linear contrivance, the film also spends a lot of time padding its runtime with music by Sir Elton John. Animated movie musicals are nothing new (again, it's the Disney playbook), but in this case the music isn't used to give the characters more to sign about, or push the story meaningfully forward. Every song is used to cover for a montage so that the film doesn't actually have to invest in its story. The construction is, "we have a montage here. Elton, please put a song over it to cover for time." Without the montages and songs, the movie would be about 45 minutes total.

Maybe it would be better if the songs were any good, but it absolutely does feel like Elton John was phoning it in here. He wrote great songs for The Lion King but he absolutely doesn't seem to have brought his A game here. The best of the lot is "The Trail We Blaze", an amusing little ditty that accompanies the guys as they explore the jungles searching for El Dorado. But after that point, the music peters out. "It's Tough to Be a God" is supposed to be the guys singing a comedic number while in El Dorado, but it comes across as petty and sad. "Friends Never Say Goodbye" is supposed to be a strong ballad between the two protagonists (sung by Elton John, mind you) as their friendship dissolves, but the film doesn't invest heavily enough in either character, or their friendship, for this number to work.

Really, investment is a problem in general. Every character is either a one-note individual (and that includes Tulio and Miguel) or they're a background extra. Tulio is the planner, Miguel the dreamer, but we never learn anything about them beyond that. Chel is the con woman of El Dorado, but she never gains any personality beyond that. Who is she? Why is she trying to leave El Dorado? Why does she care about gold (when that metal is everywhere and she could take whatever she likes without a casual thought)? No clue. And when it comes to the high priest, or the king of El Dorado, or anyone else in there, they don't even get the barest hint of personality development. There's nothing there to these characters, so we end up not caring about them at all.

With all that said, the film is cute enough. It is handsomely animated, like a good 2D classically drawn film should be, and the vocal performances are at least decent. I don't really feel like Kline, Branagh, or Perez are truly deep into their characters, but they aren't offensively bad either. And that really goes for everything in this film: it's not offensively bad. It's passable. It entertains for 90 minutes and then flits away, forgotten by the time the credits roll. This is a film that (outside of a couple of meme-worthy jokes) barely registers as having existed the second you move on from it. Maybe it would entertain the kiddies once or twice, but from both Dreamworks and Disney there are far better, more amusing animated comedies to choose from. Hell, like The Emperor's New Groove.. Given a choice between that film and The Road to El Dorado, I'm picking Disney's subversive animated film every time.